Do I Work?

"So you ask...do I work? Uh yes,I work 24 hours a day...Why? Because I am a MOM, I am an a alarm clock,a cook,a maid,a teacher,a nanny,a nurse,a handyman,a security officer,a photographer,a counselor,a chauffeur,an ATM,a jungle gym & a comforter,I don't get holidays,sick pay or days off. I work through the Day &...Night... I am on call at  "ALL hours"
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Parenting the hardest job you'll ever love! I heard Oprah say that years ago and I thought that must be some other  job out there that you just absolutely loved doing! I had that job. I loved working for UBS. I loved working with co- ordinators, educating donors, phlebotomy, developing newer techs, accomplishing company goals, and I LOVED setting up blood drives! Ask anyone that I worked with in the past 8 years. I would be setting up the ADS table and monitoring all the others setting up and I would hear the theme song to the A-Team in my head. " I love it when a plan comes together!" I had always worked outside the home, for as long as I can remember. I loved every minute of it, even in the bad times. Even in the bad times I knew it was gonna get better. I'll always remember Steve telling me that it was gonna be a "Dark October". Yes, even in the " dark times", I loved going to work.
As happy as I was at work, there was no balance in my home life. Three happy, healthy kids, a loving, supporting husband at my side. I should have felt good about being at home. However, I didn't. I felt inadequate and helpless. The only time I didn't feel that way was when I was in a few situations where I had to make split second decisions and prepare for the worst. Chris took care of the day to day stuff. In the end, all I did was go to work and come home. Nora was doing the laundry, Ian was doing the dishes, Chris kept the living ares picked up and  they all took turns cooking. Even when Chris was gone, I was still working a lot but my mom took Chris' place. I would be up all night stressed out and crying myself to sleep only to be up at the butt crack of dawn to back at work. Work was where I felt safe and productive. The idea that I had wanted to impress upon my children was to be a responsible, reliable and goal driven adult. I missed games, parent/teacher conferences, concerts, plays, filed trips, etc. Most of the time I missed bedtime, bath time, meals, homework...
 I missed those things of my own accord. In the last year at UBS, I began to realize all that I was missing at home. Thinking to myself that if I ever got the chance to do it all over again, would I get the same result? If I knew then what I know now? Did ya get that? I had to retype it ! LOL! I don't think so. I made the best decisions at the time. Some may argue that Ian and Nora may have suffered because I worked a lot but I disagree. To be honest, I did not start  to have these feelings of being inadequate until Hunter came along. My mom has worked my whole life. It seemed only natural that I  provide for my family as much as Chris. I have always admired those who choose to stay home. I never thought that I was suited for it. At the very least, I would never get the chance to try. Well the Air Force proved otherwise. When Chris called to tell me that we were moving to England, a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders! I get the chance to work in the home.
So I traded in my scrubs for yoga pants, trip sheets for sports schedules, six pack truck for a minivan, monthly training days for coffee with the spouses and sleepless nights for peaceful rest. I pack Chris' lunches now! I still have it rough though. I get up with the kids every morning around 0630 and I am usually still awake when Chris gets home between 2300 and midnight! I am here to push the kids in and outta the shower, get homework done, and eat supper by six. Most of my day is taken up by laundry as the UK spec washer and dryer take VERY long time to process. I research recipes and BAKE! I am always trying English or Indian recipes or making something from scratch that we have had premade in the past. Trying get in better eating habits. I love going to the markets and getting fresh fruits and veg(that's what they call it over here). Hunter said the other day, " I want REAL mac'n cheese!" That is REAL!!! I have yet to have a regular cleaning schedule. I would like for it be a rotating kinda thing not just "oh for Pete's sake, this toilet is horrible" kinda cleaning! These things take time. I am certain that I will have it all figured out soon. 
 For now, I have balance! I am a SAHM and I am on call 24/7...